


Choice And Consequence

by AvatarQuake



Series: This is how it starts [19]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, I'm making a wild guess with Phil's dead/alive status within SHIELD here, Missing Scene, POV Phil Coulson, S1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-01
Updated: 2015-12-01
Packaged: 2018-05-04 10:26:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5330768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvatarQuake/pseuds/AvatarQuake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Coulson does the right thing but that has consequences.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Choice And Consequence

**Author's Note:**

> Phil's dead/alive status;By FitzSimmons' non-reaction,I thought Level Fives and lower didn't know he died before New York,while Level Six agents were told he did die.Level Seven learnt he survived.The Avengers,despite their clearance were not privy to Phil being alive,because their coming together as a team was based on him being dead.And any civilian connectd to them and Phil was also out of the loop,for obvious reasons.  
> This is all speculation,with holes as big and many as the Helicarrier crew that heard the 'Agent Coulson is down.' from Fury.

When Skye told him that Daniels was out,after Ward came back and told them about the Fridge and Hnad's death,he knew Garrett was setting him up to chase the past.

John knew about Audrey.Hell,everyone in SHIELD who knew him,knew about her!

He had to take care of this,before finally looking ahead.

Him staying away from her,not telling her he was alive,was to keep her safe from this,from his life,from him.

His status as dead and as alive was a confusing matter withing SHIELD,on purpose.Most agents didn't know he was dead,below Level Five,at least.Level Six learnt he was dead.Level Seven and up that he was alive.The Avengers couldn't know.And civilians that were connected to him didn't have clearance to the knowledge of his status.

(He didn't like it,at first,not telling Audrey,or the Avengers,his other,unexpected friends.But he was loyal to SHIELD and Fury and good at following orders.So he did what was asked of him.It was also because he was terrified of explaining what happened.)

He took FitzSimmons and Triplett and went after Daniels,despite his slight unease.

He had to do this,finish with this part of the chapter of his old life.He'd have to talk to her at some point,but that wasn't today.He wasn't ready. _She_ wasn't ready.He probably would never be.

So,he stands in the shadows,lets the other three do most of the mission,steps up only when she won't see him and then hides again.

And in a way,it's a closure of sorts.She was safe.

Now he could move on,because she could,too.He wasn't holding her back,not with Daniels threatening her,or himself telling her about being alive.

He had to mend his friendship with Melinda,too.And then he'd take Skye out for that dinner,suggest they go retreive Cloud.That van means a lot to Skye.He smiled a little on the flight back,thinking about it.

His thoughts,though,kept turning back to Audrey and that time of his life.

It wasn't a bad time,maybe a little detatched,him being an agent and unable to tell her much about his work.There was also the constant moving around,the odd hours,the being in a different city most of the time.That's why he took her to good restaurants,to make up for the lack of attention.

Audrey is a good person,she deserved better than him then,and she does now even more.

(There is that nagging feeling that he's again missing something,a piece of the puzzle,because he feels guilty about Audrey and not only because of not telling her he's alive,or actually getting involved with someone he was responsible for,the victim in his mission.It was something else,more than these,in there.)

And coming back to Providense empty just made Coulson's stomach churn and he knew that something was horribly wrong.

Agent Koenig wouldn't have let the Bus take off,Skye would have been waiting for them to return,after running some programm to get things started.May would have probably left as he told her to do so,and he had hoped he could have been fast enough to appologise and ask her to stay,for SHIELD.

And Ward wasn't in shape to carry out any mission.

Which led to the conclution that Koenig took Ward and Skye to a mission with the Bus,but a low-risks one.

He could feel the confusion coming off the other three,and even though he had scenarios running through his head,not all possible given the fact no one else knew of the base's location,he,too,found himself feeling lost.

(His gut was telling him,though,everything was wrong,from the moment he left,splitting the team and that now he was facing the consequences of his choise to chase after a past he wasn't going back to.Even if saving Audrey was the right call.)

 


End file.
